At Altar’d Events, we have just one rule when it comes to planning your wedding: there are no rules. Seriously, this is a day to honor the two of you, both as individuals and as a unit, and the result should be a curated event that celebrates your love story.
You’re total foodies and love local breweries? Have a multi-course meal featuring craft brew pairings on the big day.
You’re not the dancing type? Forgo the dance party and put out yard & board games for your guests to enjoy.
So as you begin the planning process and the advice and suggestions start pouring in, we hope you remember to do things your way. There are many ways to navigate it all, but if you determine your priorities from the start and work to honor them as you go, you should be set. To help you out, we’ve debunked five silly wedding myths to support you in your efforts.
MYTH 1: Your wedding party must be even.
If you have 3 people you want to stand with you and your partner has 7 – perfect. You don’t need to pick 4 more people to match or expect your partner to cut down. Your photographer will create beautiful photos of your wedding party, even or not. And with that in mind, pick whomever you want. We hope you know by now that gender roles don’t apply.
MYTH 2: You must invite your entire family.
Your wedding doesn’t have to also serve as a family reunion. It totally can if you want it to, but if you are more interested in an intimate affair or simply have restrictions on the number of guests you can accommodate (based on venue capacity, budgetary limitations, etc.), cuts may be necessary. If you haven’t spoken to Great Aunt Wanda since you were three, it’s ok not to add her to the guest list. This also applies to non-family categories (your friends from grade school, work colleagues, parent’s work friends, etc.). Remember that the majority of the big expenses in any event are directly related to guest count.
MYTH 3: You must honor all traditions.
Not a fan of cake? Don’t have one; cut a pie or brownies or something else. Not fond of the cake cutting tradition all together? Don’t do it. Trying to keep things eco-conscious? Omit paper programs for all. Super excited for the bouquet toss but not as thrilled about the garter toss? Do one and not the other. I think you get the picture.
MYTH 4: Hosting a wedding at home will save money.
While the line item for “venue fee” may be set at $0 on your budget spreadsheet, it will quickly be replaced with so much more. Don’t get us wrong; backyard weddings are some of our ABSOLUTE FAVORITES. But they are often more costly than hosting an event in a traditional venue because we must build a venue from scratch. Things that are often included – tables, chairs, lighting, a catering kitchen, bathrooms, the venue structure itself (and so much more) – are now added expenditures to consider.
MYTH 5: Wedding professionals inflate their prices.
Nope. Nope. Nope. This just isn’t true. As a consumer, it’s easy to wonder why, for example, 8 hours of photography service is $3800. You may find yourself thinking, “Wow. I would love to make $475 an hour.” But this is a very inaccurate approach. Many wedding professionals are small businesses simply working to make a fair wage. So much more then time goes into accounting for pricing. Everything from a business license, website, phone & email, software programs, business insurance, advertising expenses, legal fees, graphic design, continuing education, health insurance, self employment tax, utilities, etc. are considered. Your wedding pro is working to do what they love while providing for themselves (and often a family).
MYTH 6: Wedding planners are a luxury.
Of course, as planners ourselves, we’re biased but it’s with good reason. If you want to get married, you don’t need a wedding planner (or any other vendor for that matter.) You need 4 things: a marriage certificate, an officiant & 2 witnesses. But if you want a wedding – an event that you plan to pour your heart, time, money and more into – that culminates into a celebration better than you imagined with the people you love most, hiring a wedding planner is a must. For comparison, if you had a leaky pipe, you could go online, search for tutorials on how to fix it, head to the hardware store, spend 30 minutes trying to find the right part, head home, start the project, realize you purchased a part 1/8” too big, head back to the store…. Or you could have hired a professional who would have assessed the situation and had it fixed within an hour. Similar to this, it boils down to time: how much you have to give and ultimately, how much your time is worth. It’s not that you are incapable; it’s that a professional planner has the experience, connections and insight to streamline the process and remove the stress from your plate. We estimate a minimum of 150 hours are spent planning each of our couple’s weddings, but that could translate to over 500 hours to you. Beyond that, the end goal is to enjoy your wedding day. To soak it all in and be present in every moment. Allow yourself and your precious family the ability to do so, and partner with a planner to make it possible.
Special thanks to Allissa Reimer of Altar’d Events for contributing this story. Photo by Scarlett Crews Photography